betterment

would love to, but i can't. been meaning to, but i haven't. been stuck, that's all, but at least i'm stuck in a comfortable place. although, i wonder if i wasn't stuck if things could be even better than they are now. my mind wanders of such things while i sit here in front of my computer, warm, and with comfortable clothing all around me. my daughter is fed well and loved, she plays with her many toys that are scattered all around her room, i hear her little bells and things hitting the floor while she tinkers, her little shoes make clips on the floor, her grandma bought her a pair of shiny high heeled shoes with little black straps that clip clop on the old wood floors.

this desk is so cluttered that nothing organized can come from it, nothing worth of note, nothing has been being created for months and months now. would love to but i can't. been meaning to but i haven't. so far gone and in the hole that nothing i attempt will change what's on my plate.

...the glimmer of hope is created by it all falling down, by it all falling down, by it all falling down. we don't have to worry anymore about these numbers they create to keep us slaves, ignorant of what's been done throughout the years, and even the years themselves were created to keep us slaves and away from the power and audacity of the real cycles of the sun. the week is making us weak. the work week is not working in our favor, sunday should be every day, for we should worship the star for which everything revolves around. if only we could change society on such a grand scale, but wow, what an undertaking... wow. it's gotta start small and continue on until it encompasses all that exists, becoming everything.

this cluttered desk organization piles up high with afterschool activities, i didn't finish school at all, and don't plan to. all of that school is lost and shall never be found, there's nothing to find and no one to thank and no one to blame, it is what it is and i'll just be prepared when it all goes away. i'll just be prepared for when it all goes away, the streets will be gone but we'll know how to get there when it's time. i'm ready for it all to go away, it's all changing before our eyes and before we'll know exactly what's going on it'll be done. i just want to get past all this and reach the real american freedom, freezing in the december snow i'll be happy to burn the fuck outta my money in the aftermath. we'll make all the tea we have layin around, it's all old and stale but it'll taste so good when we need it. fuck it, i'm tired of being tired for all these rich people, making them richer and richer and richer with the money they make even more worthless everyday, they make it harder and harder for us working people to survive. i'm really sick of paying them and paying them and paying them and paying them. we should all look for ways to work away from the dependency of money. tight societies and understandings between people have proven to work for centuries, money was created to make trade easier between long distances, if we try to work away from these long distance relationships, we can slowly learn how to live in a better and more sustainable way. indeed yes, it is an amazing thing that we can talk to each other across the world, and we can pass along information, but our primary day to day living activities, processes, and outlooks must move and strive towards a dependency on local people, places, and things. to have a vehicle in ohio that runs on fossil fuels from alaska is not a good thing. to furnish your house with goods made in china is not a good thing. but how can we change all that we have created over these last few hundred years? it's going to be hard, as all major changes are in the beginning. but everything will become easier in time. we as a human race have proven to be adaptable over the years, and we will be just fine as soon as we figure it all out. i don't have all the answers, not one of us will, but i believe that we as a whole people will have the answer if we all work for each other, and work towards the betterment of everyone...