"Grave robbing, torture, possessed nuns, and a satanic Sabbath..."
my kind of movie.
watching 'haxan:witchcraft through the ages' right now...
hells yeauh...

this will be continued tomorrow...

well, things have gotten considerably better in my world of forgetful ness, a weirdness i wish did not exist at all, but hey, i at least have fun with it. laughing has become a more norm than a inside frown of 'what the fuck.' sometimes i don't know what street i am on. i still get frustrated at not knowing exactly where i am going. i still want to take wrong turns.
though, a different thing.... i still want to think about why i live my life, why do anything at all, why try to beat them all if it is in fact impossible if i play this game they made up to keep us all down and un-alive. i don't know, everything just seems to be going not too well for everybody. at first i thought this dark premonition might be a residual effect of my brain injury, but this feeling will not go away. the symptoms of amnesia keep slowly leaving me, but this idea sticks. with every day that passes and my brain seeps to feeling better, this idea of a bad moon on the rise gets stronger. shall i paraphrase again? yes, i feel it is going to get worse, much more worse until it gets better. (insert bombs, screams, blood, dogs barking, babies crying, smoke, sweaty green swastika helmets)
the food they let us simpler folk afford is tainted with poison. the water has shit in it to make our bones waste away slowly. osteoporosis should not be a common disease of women.
although still, i am blessed to be in contact with beautiful people every single day of my life. the light of eyes gives me hope the dark will not achieve all. i meditate on this lately. if anyone has any thoughts, throw them my way, post them here, give me call, yea. i feel this on many more minds these days. just what does this un-sustainable un-healthy popular culture hold for us as a whole nation? something has got to change. it just can't go on like this. and although, i do feel i am sort of un-educated in many aspects of which i speak of and i do feel that i should be throwing out facts and instance with my charges, but my intuition is strong, and i have been living with it consciously for years and it has never taught me wrong... the three dots leave this post on a 'this will be continued tomorrow' note...

still, what fucking day is it? i know it's today...

my head is almost completely back to normal, although i find still i have momentary lapses of memory, unable to remember if i had these before the so-called accident, or if these were always a part of my everyday space-e-ness we know as andrea. just how mant licks does it take to get to the center of a blow pop? my world will never know, and i will never know why i have been blessed with keeping the memories of childhood advertisements and not the directions I must go when driving my way through these streets to my daughter's school in the morning. am I going to forever be questioning what day is it? no, i don't think so for very much longer:

this momentary lapse of memory has made me feel even stronger to the ideas of importance in life and being here and now. fuck the dates and fuck what IT is, today is all that matters. circles star my eyes. i sit here and play guitar and read books to myself and to Azyah. wash, rinse, repeat. food is good and full of love. say hello to people as you pass them on the street, and yes, make it a fucking point to walk places, and when driving don't always take the shortest way to get there. the place you might be going is the point in between. ask anyone who knows me, i don't take the highway when at all possible. i highly recommend this practice.