purple is cool.

looking back, the circling of the world today felt like ages. so many things were done by my legs and arms, and wow, i feel like I could do even more, and i will... but right now ~IS~ sitting on my stool in front of my electrical flat screen. needed a break. but painting more tonight, i had a great idea a few days ago, thanks to great company. i cannot wait to see how it all turns out.

the painting should look cool too.

so, yea, I am thinking of purple. this will be dedicated to the number 3 and the color purple. not the book, but the real color of morning glories dripping popsickles laffy taffy cold lips far-off rainbows and too much sun in the eyes. pressing on my eyelids until it feels weird and letting go. spinning circles until i fall down on a rug, laughing until my face is stuck, and the color of head music. the color of chillin. purple is cool.

wait, voltron is okay.

turturous maze3 of internet failings, my below-par typing abilities, and too much caffeine in my bloodstream. i thought i brewed up a cup of decaf chai, but no, i most definitely did not. maybe if i sit here and type about really crappy boring stuff i can finally get to sleep. fuck the sheep.

and these are:

the color mauve

shitty eighties fold up lawn chairs

my black target flip-flops

burnt oatmeal

wal-mart signs and wal-martish smiley faces

dirty black stains on my socks

ink pens that refuse to work (especially ink pens in the recent few moments)

holes in my jeans

BUsh

voltron

Miley Cyrus

cat shit

bunyuns

ingrown nails with shiny maroon polish

well, at least it's raining. now the dog shit out back can grow more pit bulls. =)

wait, voltron is okay.

her feet gently kick some blocks and bells as she ventures to her kitchen...

pixie dust patrol.
say cheese.
mommie where did this come from? could you put this on please? you aren't going to put it on...
i am making necklace soup.

these are not jammies. mommie, these are not jammies. these in my hand are not jammies.

mom, these are not jammies, at all.

so she goes into my closet and proceeds to change into her jammies, my closet has become the changing room. she leaps out and stares at herself in front of a mirror, then grins and dashes off into her space... "mommie, i'll get there super fast."

pillows are piled upon some yellow chairs that have been around since she was born, the yellows somehow have made it through multiple moves and conditions. her feet gently kick some blocks and bells as she ventures to her kitchen...

out.

Cat is eating little troll dolls while pawing away at fairy dresses. the sun is shining through the sky lights. stuck in thoughts of water waves while tapping away at these keys, waiting for the whole job to come my way. what is going to happen tomorrow? i am running out.

these flowers in the back yard are cool.

And the real question is to figure out what day it really is and say it out loud...

I have been writing my thoughts down these last few days in an actual paper journal, and this has seemed to make me better at the whole writing thing, Plus, recent inspiration found in and around my life is making me smile lots. I am feeling great these days, now that I am used to the whole 'not exactly knowing everything that is going on at every single moment' of my crazy yet peaceful life. Been painting just about every day, making the time to read something, and organizing my surroundings into a more simplified mess, showered with beautiful organized piles of life and bowls of cereal. Paint is stuck to my fingers still whenever I leave the shower, getting better everyday at whatever it is I am trying to accomplish... The whole pinpoint of exactly what I am doing is still hazy, yet I know that all is awesome and going beautifully. The weather is greatness, my daughter loves her new school and teachers, my friends are doing well, and I have a lot of time to myself. This is the most coolness, as I did not really have too much time to myself before the JOB fired me.

Well, Azyah and I are going to the zoo with some old friends. This should be an awesome day! I am so happy!

And the real question is to figure out what day it really is and to say it out loud...

:)

this is where she plays in kid-land.

the room up here is messy with kid in all directions, books and papers and little plastic toys, game pieces, big foam letters. empty DVD cases, a digital camera that needs the batteries re-charged. hair ties. flash cards and a big pile of old shoes and boots. five big windows and two skylights keep my futon company. never mind all my too-many clothes, they like to hang out with themselves. and the stuffed animals hang out in the corner fathest away from everything. this is where she plays in kid-land.

to hang out in the dark close to the stars.

I have a day off to hang out with my azyah. we went to the park already, she rode her bike around the big pool at Eden park. in the mornings, this park is the best, the flowers are just waking up and the bugs are still sleepy. three ducks were having breakfast and we saw a bunch of squirrels running up the trees. the storm last night knocked down a bunch of trees, and the drive through mount adams was slow in parts. lots of city workers out cleaning up all the fallen limbs. azyah says the trees are hurt from the wind, but i told her that it makes it so the trees can grow even better when it gets warmer out again.

right now she is downstairs terrorizing the cat as usual, but he doesn't seem to mind. well, he doesn't seem to mind about anything, unless his food dish is empty. that is the only time he will make any noise. frankyl shoozie wickets, i still can't get over the name she gave him. it makes me want to be four again. if only there were something i could do to make my imagination visit those spots again... i will think about this today if i remember to. :)

stayed up the other night writing, and i was originally doing this to try to help my head get back to normal, but really, what is normal anyway? and why try to go back, shouldn't we always be going forward? or at least further, my mind pictures further as a progression/improvement, while forward pictures a linear line.

i can't stop smiling. i don't have a job, i might take a road trip, azyah is being cute, my breakfast was awesome, the coffee was great, the weather is pleasant. been hanging round good vibes these last few days. swisher sweets cigarillos box full of coins and goodies. new clothes and shoes. lovely flowers at the park with explanations to azyah about how flowers and trees drop seeds in the fall, hence, the name, 'fall.'

fall is a time of everything falling into place, or at least, everything falling into place that needs to be doing so. i always go camping and this seems to help matters along as well, trees are full of knowledge if we only just let our ears hear... trees and vines mirror lovely patterns echoed with the stars. to be still and connected and quiet. to hang out in the dark close to the stars.

things can get silly whenever there is ice cream, a little girl, two dogs, a kitten, and three KidS in the kitchen.

i have couches in the wood floor room, yet we still all end up in the kitchen. the food is in there, why not? i like food, making it, smelling it, eating my creations. cooking abilities are coming back to me slowly. i still wander around for the knives. and the spatula.

i am going to visit these woods tomorrow

so what is obama doing right now?

she likes sun glasses.

I don't like to wear them at all, i feel like i can't see.

woke up this morning, went on a long bike ride loveland bike trail style with my mother. weird, for a while when i woke up a few minutes ago, i thought i had woken up for the day... yea, my memory is still fuzzy. this is so weirdness! when am i going to return to 100% memory status? when am i going to finally get back normal? well, what is normal anyway? i just don't fucking know anymore. well, fuck it all. what is really going on? what fucking day is it anyway? i think i am just supposed to be falling towards the idea of not caring, and only worrying about what day it REALLY is. though, it is frustrating. at least i don't have to worry about having a job...

i walked into work on this last friday on time. ready to work, but as i am getting to my window, my boss came up to me and told me that the human resources guy wanted to see me. a lump in my throat forms... and yea, no more job for me. they fired my ass because i called off too many times when i had a major concussion. i couldn't even remember what day of the week it was and they expected me to come in and perform financial transactions with thousands of other people's money? what? this shit is illegal, and i still cannot believe they fired me.

i just don't know what to do. but now i have lots of time to figure that one out. and someone to help me!

frankyl shoozie wickets

frankyl shoozie wickets.

this is the name my daughter has made up for our new chocolate point siamese kitten.

we call him frankyl or frank or wickets or shoozie for short.

frankyl shoozie wickets,
i never thought i would get another cat after the coolest cat in the world died
(canthius)
but you have proved me wrong.