where is the luck?

wow, my fingers have been crossed for a really long time, they are starting to cramp up. where is the luck?

dammmit... ...

physical labour is sometimes the greatest thing known to me. last night was such a great time, and there was tasty wine involved as well! even better! my head feels so much better, it's a beautiful day, there's awesome coffee on the burner downstairs. sweeeet.
:especially the coffee part. the house i am oh so much in love with is getting rather cold, all those windows up top here are old, large, (beautiful) single paned shutter types, and i got five of them. Duke's going to make a fucking killing if i let them.. . .. been avoiding that one for a while now... anybody know where to get some free heat? dammmit... ...

the parking ticket or the bad day?

laundry and errand doings flashing with repetitive shivers, hitting my knuckles so hard they bruise. it's getting fucking cold outside again, i got the thick socks yearly cleaning done, more in the washer as i tap away at this plastic thing. listening to the lively mix put forth by the shuffle on my computer, it makes some good choices. weird though, it always plays polvo or sage francis or curtis mayfield or all three. no matter what. who is this ever present deciding little alien inside of my computer? i would like to meet it (him/her) and give him a xanax. yea. palindrome drugs are the best~ i hear. or maybe the kinds that make you look back are just as good, looking back is a good way to figure out what you got to stand upon. and me, being short, cannot help but falling BACK on the ground so many times throughout the day, hey, it's close. i like getting down to earth especially since i have all this extra spaciness to deal with. wow, i wonder who reads all this shit... i just tap it into the black key board.
parking tickets are not for good days. so who was first, really? the parking ticket or the bad day?

well, it always Will BE probably.

saturday is fun times, so is fridays and mondays and wednesdays. shit, it's all goodness. just thankful i'm here. excited about what the future is going to be doing. and dinner should be fun too. i am going to go and check out some sweet art... smiles smiles smiles and more smiles to be had!

such a nice day to be outside! again, fall is cool. well, it always Will BE probably.

he he he

so yea, i absolutely love a book a friend of mine got for Azyah (me) a few years ago. it's one written by Shel Silverstein, published after his death, called 'Runny Babbit.' It is so much fun to read those poems out loud, even more so than all the others Shel has written. he he he...

Runny Babbit lent to wunch
And heard the saitress way,
"We have some lovely stabbit rew
--Our Special for today."

coffee is good and so is the sky with pollution rainbows.

typing taps away at my insanity, slowly breaking it down to a normal level of what-ever-ness... whatever THAT is...
i went to my old place of employment today, it took all my possible strength to not yell out how much of azyah and andrea's life they have completely fucked up, but a lower voice of mine instead was spoken to a few familiar faces, and i was thankful to control my anger to a point of just letting my hands shake. i let a few people know that the place they work for denied my un-employment three times now. still, i will try again and a-fucking-again...
sometimes when i am pissed off i get loud and let others know whether they care or not, just like i am typing here, if you the Other Reader do indeed exist. but on this place, really, this is for me and if you care to read my bloggings, i invite you to do so. this whole typing thing i think is helping my brain get better and better. at least i like to think so. maybe a few comments from people... do you have any questions about what it's like to have amnesia? i could answer them for you. Sure, you could look it all up on wikipedia, and i have looked there as well to find out what is going on with my head, but to hear it told from my first hand seems to be interesting to other people, and i like to talk to people about it. i have noticed sometimes that other people haven't really thought about what it might be like to not know what day of the week it is, and to not know how to get to the grocery store they have been going to every other day for years. it is so weird to have the directions written down to my daughter's school in my car so i don't get lost. my memory gets better for a few days, then it seems to relapse a little bit, then a little better, and so forth. i have had my room-mate in the car with me in the mornings so i don't need to reference my directions too much... still, i wonder how much i would need to if he wasn't there. everything just seems so fuzzy temporary. i guess it all really was and will be and is forever; i just needed a major head injury to smack my ass back into knowledge of it, and to learn how to live with the philosophy of 'going with the flow.' it makes it easier to go with it if you got to really look all the time and not take anything for granted, like knowing the date (it's always today) or the time (it's always now) or who i am (i'm always being me) or why (it just IS)

whatever the name for whatever kind of whatever philosophizing i have just written here, i do not know, it's just how i feel and how i perceive things right now. i still look through the lens of being a head injury victim, although my friends tell me all the time of how much better my head is getting. i know i am different though. and i also know there are certain things i used to be able to recall easily and now have a hard time. this is so weird, it's like my whole personality and identity has changed in just one day. but well, that could happen to anybody on any given day, anything can happen, and the happenings don't even have to be injuries... they could be good things... and there have been great things in my life as well these past weeks, blessings and good vibes and laughter echoes...
been writing and creating lots. and if you who are reading this would like to purchase, now is the best time, as i am broke and gots deals on my stuff!
been eating a few chill pills today.
coffee is good and so is the sky with pollution rainbows.

Spring sucks in the Fall.

plaid little girl pants, rumpled up shirts. purple-blue bins and accidental coffee stains. red cat hair rug. one of my crazy songs playing in the back of my head, looping over and over, wow, this Pabst is really doing the trick. now if only i can pull just One more out of my sleeve, all would be bright and sunny in the world of 322B Mulberry Street. alas, my magician abilities seem to have been lost. maybe it's just the shirt i am wearing: true, it does not have sleeves to pull AMAZING out of. well, i guess Fall weather is coming up soon. I keep on thinking it'll all fall into place, and get fooled lots to thinking it is indeed progressing that direction, but something else happens to just bring me back around to where i came from. Spring sucks in the Fall.